"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." - Gen. George S. Patton (Not an endorsement of any war by this author, FYI)
Long ago, I owned a 1971 Corvette - the one below, in fact.
That car had a heavy cast-iron LS5 454 cubic inch (7.4 liter) V-8 engine attached to a manual four speed Muncie transmission. The engine had a modest 8.5:1 compression ratio, and as a result the output was a rather tame 365 horsepower (272 KW) and 550 ft-lb torque (746 N-M). Even with the low compression and horsepower, the torque would launch the 3200 lb car pretty nicely. Because it had such a massive bore and stroke, the engine felt brutally powerful. The car vibrated like it had solid motor mounts, and it had a wonderful throaty rumble out the side pipes.
I both loved and hated that Corvette. When it was working, it was a lot of fun - but it didn't work a lot of the time. I was earning a meager amount of money, it took a lot of that money to keep it running. There were several times that the car broke down and I had to save for months in order to be able to repair it.
Toward the end with that car, I was attempting to get the hot-rodded engine back into California Emissions compliance. A co-worker had promised me that he would be able to sell the hot rod parts for decent enough money that he could undoubtedly find OEM "stock GM" parts that nobody loved, which would satisfy the emissions people. He got around to selling the hot rod parts, but he never got around to buying or installing the original smog-compliant parts. Then he got arrested and went to jail, and I had to retrieve the Corvette, now with the intake and exhaust systems missing. Shortly after that, we moved to Bakersfield, downsizing from a four-car garage, to a two-car garage, and the Corvette got displaced.
Motorcycles have also been a passion with me for a long time. They give a lot of acceleration and adrenaline for not too much money. With a motorcycle you can have McLaren levels of acceleration and braking for well under $10k. They are quite fun, take a fair bit of skill to ride, and a great deal of skill and practice to ride near their limits. They are also significantly more dangerous and less comfortable than a car - and the riding season here in the north is brief.
With the discussion of the Corvette and motorcycles and adrenaline out of the way, we can move on to the topic at hand: A 2005 Mercedes S600. I'd decided to get rid of the Honda CBR1000RR ("Fireblade" in Europe) a while ago. As mentioned, the riding season is short, and it's quite uncomfortable for these older joints, and my riding skills have declined with age and lack of time on the bike.
I began looking for four-wheeled alternatives to the motorbike (and the old Corvette), something that would be fast, but also inexpensive - and in a package that would be not blatantly hot rod looking - a four-door sedan. After a lot of research, it became pretty clear that the highest horsepower per dollar was going to be an older Mercedes with a V-12 turbo engine.
Used Mercedes are unloved, because (like the old Corvette!) they cost a fair bit to maintain and fuel - and they are complex. Fortunately, my income has improved somewhat since the 1980's, although the time available to perform repair work has diminished - a lot.
Eventually I picked the car, and in November, picked up the car, and parked it in the garage over the coldest months of winter with a trickle charger on the battery. So what's the good stuff in this newest vehicle? I did a post about all the fancy features a bit ago, but those aren't the reasons that I bought it. No, I bought it for the performance, which was not discussed, and what this post is about.
The car is a Mercedes S600 (factory code W220.176), which came with a W275 engine. This is an all-aluminum 5.5 liter, single overhead cam V12 turbocharged motor. The engine is equipped twin turbochargers - one for each bank of six cylinders. The turbochargers pressurize intake air to about 20 psi of boost into dual air-to-water inter-coolers, which feed the air into the cylinder heads. The cylinder heads have three valves per cylinder - two intake and one exhaust. In stock form, it puts out 500 horsepower (368KW) and 590 ft-lb of torque (800 N-M). This engine has been tuned to the AMG specification of 612 HP, so the torque is around 737 ft-lb (1000 N-M).
Yup, lots of cylinders...
Yup lots of valves and spark plugs. 24 spark plugs, and 36 valves.
This car has a great deal more power and torque than the old Corvette had, but the delivery is much more subtle. The Corvette would slam you back in the seat as it roared like a beast. This car *very quietly* shoves you back into your seat like a jet during take-off. And like that experience, it's comfortable... and relentless. Like a jet aircraft, the Mercedes keeps shoving you into your seat, long after you think the power should be tapering off.
Here is a quote from the automotive journal "The Truth about Cars" regarding this model.
"Bottom line: if you don't have any self-control, don't buy, drive, rent or borrow an S600. One tiny toe point, and BLAM! You're in Porsche territory; locked and loaded. Yes uber-sedan fans, when it comes to straight-line speed, this big bad Benz is a genuine Porsche killer. The S600 needs just 4.6 seconds to blast from zero to 60mph. This pace may only (only!) match a standard Carrera's, but the S600's in-gear shove from sixty on up will give a Turbo nutter something to think about.
That is, it has to be said, a lot of torque. It's so much damn torque it doesn't really matter what torque is. The fundamental point is that this 493 bhp engine, transplanted from the country-straddling Maybach, delivers straight-line speed better than any drug dealer in the free world. Tread gently on the go-pedal, and the S600's supernaturally smooth V12 adds miles per hour to the speedo in that totally mindless manner that cops never believe. Go for it, kick-down, and you can, er, hang on. It's nothing like the punch-in-the-kidneys experience of a Porsche Turbo with afterburners alight. It's more like… free fall. From a very great height."
So there you go... It's the new speed-barge. And it looks pretty nice when it's - more or less - clean. The backdrop could be nicer, but that's where she sits right now :)
Yesterday, I took the car over to the next town where there's a tire shop. At that point I learned some interesting things. The front and rear rims on this car are not the same width, so the four identical tires I had ordered only fit the front rims :( Pirelli does not make the correct size for the rear wheels.
Also the rear brake pads that Amazon said would fit on the car were not the correct ones, and lastly, the batteries in the tire pressure monitors (TPMs) in each rim are on their death-bed. The batteries have about 10% life remaining, and those will need to be replaced at $70 per wheel.
On the bright side, the front tires are in good shape, so plan B is to replace just the rear tires with Yokohamas - same brand as the front set. At the same time the tire shop will install a full set of new TPM sending units, and install the correct Bosch rear brake pads with condition monitoring sensors. Today I will be hauling the stack of tires and incorrect brake pads back to the shipping store. It's been a bit frustrating. It'll be ready before the snow is done melting, so no point complaining.
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