Unf*cking the truck

 "Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.  When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." - Laozi

 But first, a cool wood-carved cow skull. 

While my buddy was here, we took him to the MacKenzie River Pizza Company restaurant.  In addition to dinner, I wanted to show him some awesome wall sconce lights that were made from fake wooden cow skulls.  Sadly, the restaurant had recently remodeled, and all of the cow skull lights were gone :(   I was devastated, and  told the manager how disappointed I was that I couldn't show my friend the previous decor.  He took pity and retrieved one out of the shed for me to take home :)  You can bet money this will soon be on display soon, with orange LED lights in the eyes.

Back to a proper post now, about machinery, and attempting to straighten out the poor 1960 F100 truck...  Fortunately I took a lot of pictures, so that nobody has any illusions that this stuff is quick or easy.  Door open, about to remove the fuel tank from behind the seat.

This part was pretty easy.  One electrical connection for the fuel level, two hose clamps, two restraining straps, and the fuel line on top of the tank.  Please note:  This part was not unf*ckery - just the removal of a fuel tank that was poorly placed by the manufacturer.  We will eventually get to that.

Everything came loose - the straps, the hose clamps, the electrical, and the fuel line.  However, the filler neck hose would not move, so I ended up cutting it with a utility knife.  Afterwards the gas tank came right out.

I have no idea who came up with the idea of putting the fuel tank in the passenger compartment, but he might have had a side gig as a burn specialist.

Below:  Now we have room for a dual transmission line speaker cabinet and subwoofer!

Once the fuel tank was removed, I was able to assess the condition of the rear corners of the cab of the truck.  A bit rough, but at least we scored some bottled water and transmission fluid!

I was curious, so I checked the last year of registration.  2006 is the last time this vehicle was *legally* registered.  Knowing the wife's uncle, he might well have driven it another 5 years illegally.  The ash tray was full of condoms, so he never was lacking sex.  Where did I go wrong?

Now that the fuel tank has been removed, the fuel filler will dump fuel directly onto the floor of the cab.  I'll need to either blank off the fill nozzle or delete the entire assembly.

Below:  It was easiest to cut off the fuel line at the floor of the cab, then remove the remaining section of fuel line between the tank and the engine from underneath the truck later on.

At this point, I stopped working on the truck briefly to deal with the fuel tank, residual fuel, and making the tank (mostly) non-hazardous.  Below is the nasty residual fuel I was able to get out of the tank by standing it up on end and letting it flow out the fill connection.  This does not belong in an engine.

Next, I removed the fuel level sending unit, then set up a wet/dry vacuum to force a large quantity of air through the fuel tank - in the filler neck, and out the level transmitter opening.

I wanted to dry out the residual liquid, to eliminate the possibility of a flammable vapor explosion.  I have no desire to be this guy on the left.  He vanishes - heading for Mars, perhaps.  Next the camera shakes as his body hits the roof of the building.  Finally he lands in the background.  Flammable vapors in enclosed vessels are no joking matter.  Think things through carefully if you are dealing with flammables and containers.

Any residue remaining in the tank will no longer be flammable, although it might contain toxic Lead compounds from a bygone era.  Not my generation, and not my problem... Never got to enjoy the benefits of high-octane leaded gasoline, so I'm also not going to bear responsibility for it.  I'll be taking the old gas tank to the scrap yard.

We have now reached the point where I began the process of unf*cking the many things I found wrong in this vehicle.  Be forewarned that (more) blasphemy might follow from this point onward.

Not everyone is an audiophile, but most people understand that you need a box behind the speaker, to improve efficiency and bass.  Not so in this case.  This inexpensive speaker was held in place with two Phillips screws that had been driven into a sheet metal strap.  It probably made sound, but not good sound.

Below:  Behind the bench seat.  The goofy speaker is no longer mounted, and is now resting on the floor.  I was following the wires from rear of the cab - which was under the rubber floor mat, up under the dash to the radio.

Below:  I pulled the wires from that speaker to underneath the dash.   Apparently it took two different sections of speaker wire and two splices to reach the back of the cab from the radio - a distance of maybe four feet (1.3 meters).  I was beyond this chickenshit level of wiring by age 15.

Below:  The radio/tape player unit, and the aftermarket oil pressure and ammeter gauges.  The oil pressure gauge requires pressure sensing tubing routed to it in order to work, which was never done - thus it never showed oil pressure.  Kind of pointless.

Below:  I have the radio/cassette player loose from the dash and laying on the floor.  At this point I was trying to decide which wire to follow out, and delete whatever was at the other end.  I had started (after removing the fuel tank) at the passenger side rear speaker.  There was plenty more silliness to go...

I decided to start with the power supply, which surprisingly had a glass fuse installed! (bottom left)

And the radio unit's power supply wire was routed not to the fuse block or ignition, but out through the firewall into the engine compartment!

Below:  The radio unit's power supply wire dead-ended here, on the left valve cover.  It likely once was connected to the battery or ignition coil at some point.

Below:  Back in the cab, I disconnected the plug on the back of the radio, and had this rat's nest to deal with.

I traced a pair of speaker wires over to the left side of the cab and they went into this grille.

In the interest of removing the bullshit from this truck, I removed the grille.  Yes, there was a speaker mounted inside the grille, below:

 Unfortunately, the grille was intended to cover a heater duct with a damper panel, not be a speaker enclosure.

One of the more obvious items underneath the dash was this enormous silver push-button.  Clearly, whatever this operated was of great importance to my wife's uncle.  Of course it wasn't important enough to mount with more than one screw - or have a fuse.

I followed each wire to the end on this push-button.  One end simply wrapped around another wire.

The other wire from the giant push-button under the dash took a meandering trip to the huge horn.

 OK, now I am the first to admit that having a monstrous horn in a passenger vehicle is a ridiculous thing.  On the other hand, I tested this thing, and it's like a goddam fog horn.  It really rolls out a howl.  It was a nightmare to remove the mounting hardware.  I had to use a cut-off wheel.  I've cleaned it up a bit, and set it aside for now...  I swear to god, the previous owner was a 60+ year old man-child.

At this point, I disconnected the temporary electric fuel pump starting arrangement, which didn't work due to the fouled carburetor.

Below:  Here we are, up under the dash again, looking at a mass of wiring that has experienced severe overheating, most likely due to a short circuit.  Lots of missing insulation (left diagonal wire), and too much exposed copper.

And now it's time to remove the aftermarket "performance gauges", of which the oil pressure gauge was never connected - so just the ammeter needs to be disconnected.

Below:  Taped wires from the ammeter go out through the firewall.  I cut them off and pulled them through.

Below:  Backside of the gauge cluster and the wire feed through the firewall.  Also the radio antenna hanging loose.  What a mess...

I traced the white wires from the ammeter gauge all the way through the engine compartment.  One end went to the ballast resistor that was hanging loose under the dash.

The other wire from the after-market ammeter gauge made a long trip through the firewall, around the engine compartment, and ended up at the alternator.

Next it was time to deal with removing the electric fuel pump wiring - in a vehicle that never had legitimate wiring for an electric fuel pump. :)   Let us follow the white wire along the yellow brick road.

Now I have to admit this next bit is kind of humorous.  This truck never came with a radio, so anything added after the fact was done by the owner.  This owner located a spare radio antenna, and wedged the extendable antenna up inside the engine compartment.  Classy!  And ineffective.

At the end of the operation, there was a large pile of useless junk on the floor, and a bad odor of varnished gasoline wafting around in the air.  Hopefully this project improves.

I will say this:  The engine compartment and interior are significantly less frightening than they were, at least from an electrical perspective.  I will still need to replace the OEM wiring harness, which is burned up, but the jury-rigged stuff has now been removed, so at least we are down to manufacturer's wiring - even if it's been hacked into.